By G.P. Avants and J.D. Pepe
There is unfinished business with the Justice Leaque. Here is the script for an upcoming fan-fiction piece we thought you might enjoy. Keep an eye…and an ear out for it in the next month on Neekology 101.
Narrator: Bruce Wayne AKA Batman has opened the doors to the newly renovated building used at the Justice League’s Hall of Justice. Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg are discussing what their new life as a team will constitute. Batman is unsure about how to unite this diverse group of heroes in a time when the world is choosing sides.
Batman: Thank you all for coming out today. We are officially calling together our team of heroes.
Flash: Excuse me, Bruce?
Batman: (clears his throat and changes his voice. whispering) When we are in private you can call me Bruce. But (changes his voice back to Batman) when we are on the job…it’s…Batman.
WW: You and that voice.
Superman: (chuckles) Yeah, is that one of your super powers?
Cyborg: Besides being rich?
Batman: (laughs sarcastically) Funny. Being rich isn’t a super power. And neither is my voice. (contemplates) Well… (continues to contemplate-replaying all the times he intimidated criminals)
Flash: Batman? Batman? (louder) Batman?
Batman: Uh…oh…uhm, yeah. Let me do a head count.
WW: Why are you counting? There are only a handful of us here.
Batman: Shhh…I’m trying to count. (pointing to himself-slow and quietly) 1, 2…
Flash: It is an official meeting. Is someone taking the minutes?
Cyborg: (to WW) It’s his super power. When your rich you forget how to count. He has to practice.
Batman: …3, 4, 5. 5? There are suppose to be 6 of us here. We are missing someone.
WW: Yeah. Aquaman.
Batman: Yes, That’s right. The water…guy. We’re missing Arthur Curry. Arthur? Arthur? Is Arthur present? (looking all around everyone to see if he is there)
Flash: We are on the job. It is Aquaman, like Wonder Woman said.
Batman: (still looking around to see where he might be) He’s not here, so he’s not on the job. I can call him whatever I like.
WW: Why are you calling out his name and looking around everyone. You can clearly see he isn’t here.
Cyborg: (In a loud whisper) I don’t know if he can see clearly through that mask.
Batman: I can see just fine through my mask.
Flash: His hearing is great.
Batman: (squinting) Just wanna make sure I didn’t miss him is all. (to the Flash but loud enough for all to hear) Looks like we know who is really committed. (then to himself but loud enough for all to hear) I hope he doesn’t have to be silenced knowing I’m Bruce Wayne. (to all as a joke) Maybe he is sleeping with the fishes? (chuckles-but no one else laughs)
Batman: You know. He’s the ocean lover. Controls fish. Takes naps in the water. (to himself, but the others can hear)…knows my secret identity and might need to meet a watery end….
Flash: (Says with clenched teeth) That’s kinda dark dude?
Batman: We are working. And while we are working isn’t not dude. It’s… Batman.
Cyborg: So is the outfit. Very black and ominous.
Superman: And gothic. Especially for a hero.
Batman: Bats are black people!
Batman: Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant to say, “Bats are black, COMMA…people.”
Wonder Woman: We need to work on your people skills.
Flash: Well. Not all bats are black. There’s the Rodrigues fruit bat is a large species with dark brown fur over most of its body. This animal’s head, neck and shoulder region is, however, golden in color…
(Batman scowls at him and he shuts up)
Batman: (mumbles to Superman/Cyborg) Hey, at least I’m not wearing tight red and blue spandex pretty boy. And I don’t have a menacing red glowing eye, you walking computer.
Superman: Can you please stop giving me wardrobe advice.
Flash: (Whispers to Cyborg) I’m beginning to think someone…is…a…little jealous. Maybe a little body envy?
Cyborg: (Whispers back) Maybe, because someone has to work out to maintain his, and Superman doesn’t.
Batman: I’m not jealous. I have abs built right into my suit.
Superman: And what’s up with the cape? You don’t even fly.
Batman: You don’t have to fly to wear a cape. It’s part of my bat ensemble. Like wings.
Flash: He does have a point. You don’t fly. And bats fly.
Batman: Errrrrrrh…(getting angry)
WW: Boys! Boys?! We are not getting anywhere bickering amongst ourselves. We need to work together. We need to act like friends.
Flash: Diana…(clears his throat and in a deeper voice) Wonder Woman is right. (whispers to Batman) I dig the gothic duds dude. Ah, Batman.
Batman: (He smirks) Thank you Barry.
Flash: Eh, we are kinda on the job, so…its Flash. (grins)
Superman: I like this kid. He is quick with his wit too.
Cyborg: (looking dejected says in a soft, sad voice) For the record I’m not a walking computer. My work name says it all. I’m a cyborg, which means I’m still part human.
WW: (reaches over and rubs his shoulder) Victor, You are definitely human. As human as any of us.
Flash: Well…Superman is actually an alien from another plant. So technically…
WW: (looks at Flash – her face says “not helping”) We are a team, and we need to start acting like one. We are believers… (cut off by Superman)
Superman: Yes. In truth and justice. (puts his hands on his hips and posses very serious)
WW: And the rumors are there is a band of villains forming. The world is going to need us to be united. We are the only thing standing between them and mankind. So, Batman? Would you like to say something to Cyborg?
Batman: (looks at Cyborg who is still saddened by his comments) Really? (WW looks at him angrily) Uh…(kicking the ground)…Sorry. (whispers) I guess.
Flash: Now that is out of the way, what are we going to call ourselves?
Cyborg: (no longer dejected): That’s a good question.
WW: Well, like I said, and Superman so eloquently finished saying for me, we are believers, in truth and justice. So, how about something with truth or justice in the title.
Flash: Okay. How about…super…friends of truth and justice?
Batman: Sounds like a kid’s TV show.
WW: Too many words.
Cyborg: It’s just us guys and…a wonderful woman.
Batman: Is that an idea for a name or a joke?
Superman: (Snaps his fingers) How about the Justice Team?
WW: Yes, better.
Cyborg: Unit? Corps? League?
Batman: (snaps his fingers) That’s it. Justice League. (looks to WW for confirmation)
WW: The Justice League sounds good. Really rolls off your tongue.
Cyborg: Are we voting then? Because I just accessed the internet and that name hasn’t been taken. I think we can get it as a domain name, with .org, .com, or even .edu.
Batman: (under his breath) Walking computer. Like I said.
WW: What did you say Bruce?
Batman: (clears his throat) Uhm…nothing. So I imagine we should all vote.
Flash: Yes! (throwing his hand up) I vote yes! (Everyone looks at him)
Batman: Your moving kinda of fast aren’t you. I didn’t even call for the vote yet.
Flash: Its kind of what I do. My name is Flash, at least when we are working.
Batman: Alright. All in favor say “Aye.”
ALL: (all hands go up) “Aye.”
Batman: (counts hands- WW just shakes her head) “Nays?”
WW: Bruce! Everyone said “yes.” You even counted the hands.
Batman: Just being official and please, it’s…Batman.(He pauses) The Justice League it is.
(Wonder Woman’s cell phone rings. It is the original Wonder Woman theme song from the 70’s. She scrambles to get her phone, while everyone else gives her odd looks.)
Flash: Ah, you have your own theme song?
Cyborg: (a loud whisper) She has been on the job longer than the rest of us put together
Wonder Woman: Sorry, it’s work. (She answers the call) Bonjour, Jean? (Pauses for response) Yes, I left the Van Gogh in the cold storage. Can I call you back? I am in an…important meeting. Merci. Au Voir. (She puts her phone away)
(There is an awkward silence, a cough, etc.)
Batman: (holds up a finger) Please, let’s not start a discussion about theme songs.
Superman: We have more important things to get settled.
Wonder Woman: Correct.
Cyborg: Oh, okay, I already had a few ideas, but I guess it can wait.
Flash: Aw,…( He switches gears) So, what are we going to call our place of business? This meeting hall here? Oh! The Hall of Justice!
Batman: Slow down Barry. We just voted on our team name.
Flash: I can’t. I’m the Flash and when we are on the clock. Hey, do you guys thing we should get matching unitards?
(Everyone looks at him like he is crazy. They all moan and groan)
Flash: Or…maybe not.
Superman: We should think about which one of us is going to lead the team.
Batman: I’m use to working alone and making my own decisions.
WW: Are you saying you want to lead us or are you opting out?
Batman: I think the fact we are working together is a big step. Maybe we shouldn’t rush into selecting a leader just yet.
Superman: That is a very wise suggestion Bru…Batman.
Cyborg: Let’s just let things happen…organically. (smiles)
(The large doors to the hall burst open and in strides Aquaman with a large net slung over his shoulder)
Aquaman: WHOOO YAHHH! Let’s get this party started! (He tosses the net onto the table. It’s loaded with fish, shrimp, crab, and squid, and they spill out)
Flash: Alright! Can anyone make sushi?
Cyborg: Booyah! (high fives Flash) I was think the same thing.
Batman: Arthur, you’re late. (points at the sea life on the table) If you… eat any of those creatures of the sea , won’t that be cannibalism?
Aquaman: No brah. It’s like you eating…chicken.
Flash: Chicken of the sea…where’s the tuna?
Aquaman: (slaps Batman on the back) Let’s feast! You can catch me up.
(There’s a knock on the open door and in enters Hal Jordan, a.k.a., Green Lantern, quite sheepishly)
GL: I followed the big guy in. I hope that’s okay?
Batman: More people?
Wonder Woman: We did get extra seats, remember?
Flash: Sweet green outfit.
Cyborg: I like your bling. (referring to his Lantern Ring)
GL: Oh, my ring? It was a gift, sort of.
Superman: And who might you be?
GL: I’m Hal Jordan.
Flash: Is that your on the job name?
GL: (scrunches up his face in confusion) Huh?
WW: Hal, what the Flash is asking is, do you have a secret superhero identity?
Flash: (looking at WW) Yeah, your on…the…job name.
GL: I’m known as the Green Lantern. And I was wondering how I can join your superhero club?
Flash: Team. We are a team.
Superman: We are known as The Justice League.
Aquaman: We have a team name now? When did that happen?
Batman: When you were out. Getting snacks Arthur.
Flash: He is on the clock now Batman. So, he’s Aquaman.
Aquaman: Yeah. I dig what the kid said Batman. Let’s eat! (he walks toward the table)
Batman: (just shakes his head in disbelief as everyone else except Superman welcomes GL)
This is going to be a long meeting.
Superman: (steps up next to Batman) Awh Bruce. Don’t look so glum. Guys like us just have to get used to working with a team. This was your idea in the first place, remember.
Batman: (sighs) Uh huh. Just beginning to regret it.
Superman: (smiles wide) Well don’t. It was the best decision you ever made…except the one where you convinced everyone to bring me back to life. That one was a really good one too. (winks at him)
Batman: I’m beginning to regret that one too. (both of them laugh heartily)
(Superman’s phone rings. It is the original theme song from the Christopher Reeve’s Superman era. Superman gives Batman a sheepish grin.)
Superman: Sorry, it’s the day job.